I really want to write a review of Eleanor & Park because it was amazing, but I sat down to write it and couldn't focus, so I am writing this instead. Tomorrow I am planning to attend my very first blog related event, and I'm kind of hoping that posting about it will motivate me to actually attend and not freak out at the last moment, as I have previously been known to do.
Despite my best efforts, 7pm tomorrow may still find me hiding in the corner seat of the Ramsgate train, eating my way through my second packet of Quavers while listening to very loud music and staring out the window in an angy, brooding kind of way, but I hope not. I know I've mentioned my social anxiety before, and while I've conquered it pretty well on a day to day basis, any kind of big event, especially those in totally unknown places full of people I've never met, is bound to get me panicking.
Tomorrow the lovely people from Myriad have invited me to the launch party for the awesome Naming Monsters by Hannah Eaton (I'm currently running a giveaway for 2 copies of it here for UK people), and I am equal parts excited and terrified. Excited because it is obviously a great book and I'm super happy that they invited me. Also because there is apparently going to be a dramatised reading and a chance to buy signed copies. Terrified because of all the things. Firstly because I've never been to the place before so I'm freaked I won't be able to find it and then if I do I'll just end up wandering round the building not knowing which door to go in, or that once I go in I'll just stand there and everybody will stare at me, or that nobody will talk to me, or that people will talk to me and I'll completely freeze and be unable to string a sentence together and everybody will think I'm a moron and then I'll do that thing I did when I'd just started working at my current job and went to my first work social and got so freaked out I just left (a very small room with only a few people in it) without saying goodbye or anything and everyone thought I was weird a rude for a few weeks.
And.... breathe. OK I feel better now I've got that off my chest! I could just not go, obviously that would be easier, but the thing is that I really loved this book and I really want to go, so I've taken preparatory measures. Firstly I'm taking my sister with me, for backup and because she knows about my freakouts, and then I'm just going to try to take it one step at a time...
Wish me luck :-/