I really want to write a review of Eleanor & Park because it was amazing, but I sat down to write it and couldn't focus, so I am writing this instead. Tomorrow I am planning to attend my very first blog related event, and I'm kind of hoping that posting about it will motivate me to actually attend and not freak out at the last moment, as I have previously been known to do.
Despite my best efforts, 7pm tomorrow may still find me hiding in the corner seat of the Ramsgate train, eating my way through my second packet of Quavers while listening to very loud music and staring out the window in an angy, brooding kind of way, but I hope not. I know I've mentioned my social anxiety before, and while I've conquered it pretty well on a day to day basis, any kind of big event, especially those in totally unknown places full of people I've never met, is bound to get me panicking.
Tomorrow the lovely people from Myriad have invited me to the launch party for the awesome Naming Monsters by Hannah Eaton (I'm currently running a giveaway for 2 copies of it here for UK people), and I am equal parts excited and terrified. Excited because it is obviously a great book and I'm super happy that they invited me. Also because there is apparently going to be a dramatised reading and a chance to buy signed copies. Terrified because of all the things. Firstly because I've never been to the place before so I'm freaked I won't be able to find it and then if I do I'll just end up wandering round the building not knowing which door to go in, or that once I go in I'll just stand there and everybody will stare at me, or that nobody will talk to me, or that people will talk to me and I'll completely freeze and be unable to string a sentence together and everybody will think I'm a moron and then I'll do that thing I did when I'd just started working at my current job and went to my first work social and got so freaked out I just left (a very small room with only a few people in it) without saying goodbye or anything and everyone thought I was weird a rude for a few weeks.
And.... breathe. OK I feel better now I've got that off my chest! I could just not go, obviously that would be easier, but the thing is that I really loved this book and I really want to go, so I've taken preparatory measures. Firstly I'm taking my sister with me, for backup and because she knows about my freakouts, and then I'm just going to try to take it one step at a time...
Wish me luck :-/
Awwwwwww, Bex, I so know what this is liiiike! Well, nowadays I get more freaked out by horrible things where I'll have to talk to people (job interviews and the like) than nice things where I'll have to talk to people, but I'm pretty sure I've missed loads of nice things in the past for similar reasons to yours. SO allow me to just say that if you go you're 1) pretty likely to have a good time, and 2) you'll feel really proud of doing something you were scared of, whereas if you don't go you'll be kind of disappointed in yourself. So yeah, you go and have a lovely time and get your sister to remind you how to breathe! :) xx
ReplyDeleteI don't have any where near this bad of social anxiety but I do have very similar thoughts run through my mind ever time I think about going some where new. One trick I have used is to go to the place the day before so I'm sure I know how to get there. Then I try to arrive half an hour early so I'm not walking in late and so I can see what room other people are going into. Hope you summon up the courage to go!
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK BEX! You will be totally awesome and your sister will keep you breathing and reassured and THEN you will wonder why you were so worried in the first place. So sayeth The Voice Of Experience (who also has a handy sister for these kinds of things). Enjoy every minute, you're amongst book people! :)
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